Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Reconnecting with others
"Keep things informal. Talking is the natural way to do business. Writing is great for keeping records and putting down details, but talk generates ideas. Great things come from out luncheon meetings which consist of a sandwich, a cup of soup, and a good idea or two. No martinis."— T. Boone Pickens
Have you ever had a boss that you felt you were just speaking two different languages? You could not see eye to eye? That was me these past two years in my job. I would say blue he would say black, I would say high he would say he wanted low. We were totally disconnected.
Verbal communication has become a lost art so to speak. Two weeks ago I finally had enough and at our bi-weekly meeting I said "I learn kinesthetically, hands on". If you want me to learn how you think give me examples. Don't email me, talk to me. Verbal communication has been lost in so many industries because of the email society. It's easier to send an email than get up from your desk and communicate with someone or even pick up the phone.
What is forgotten is that with personal face to face communication the non-verbal communication exists. Whether you realized it or not we learn from non-verbal communication as well. Humans communicate non-verbally in three distinct forms. One is the nonverbal communication of attitudes and emotions of the immediate social situation, secondly the nonverbal communication as a support and complement of verbal communication and lastly the nonverbal communication as a replacement for language. (Non-verbal communication in human social interaction. Non-verbal communication. Argyle, Michael Hinde, R. A., (1972). Non-verbal communication,. Oxford, England: Cambridge U. Press, xiii, 443 pp.)
The nonverbal I am speaking about is the second one the nonverbal communicaiton as a support and complement of verbal communication. While conversing with my boss he would tell me "Wait I'm processing what you are saying" then he would explain how he processes things. Watching him think, act, and process are valuable to me because in the end when I make decisions that affect my department that might require my bosses backing he will understand why I did what I did, but also I learned when he wants information and when he doesn't. We reconnected because I spoke up. Instead of remaining miserable in my situation I finally realized I needed to speak. Why was I so afraid to talk to him? We all get that way once in awhile. Complacency sets in and we become robotic like, but for me robotic is not what I like nor who I am. I am a visionary person. I like movement, change, implmenting different things for people.
You believe that what you have to say is not worthwhile or let's face it in this economy talking to your boss honestly might find yourself in the unemployment line. That won't happen. Everyone needs to be reminded that first and foremost we are human and long before pen and paper even people communicated verbally and non-verbally.
The key to reconnecting with others is communication. Approaching the person in a nonthreatening manner, letting them know you believe there is a disconnect and state the reasons, then talk and watch them. Provide them examples of how to communicate with you and you will be amazed the dialogue that occurs.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Life in the Fast lane
We live in an instant gratification world. Everything is at our fingertips, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Internet, Inflation, the "I" phase is where we live yet we have forgotten about the "me". We want things fast. Sometimes we forget that we have to work hard for what the "me" wants. It's important that the "I" reassess and define what the "want" is in terms of our value. That is the re-establishment to find the REAL you.
According to the Oxford Dictionary reconnection is defined as reestablishing a bond of communication or emotion. Reconnecting with ourselves is tough at times due to the fact that we are constantly changing and evolving. What I mean about reconnection is the ability to look at yourself and see if you are content with the person that maybe you once were, are, or on the path to be. Our past dictates our future, meaning you and only you have the ability to mold and shape your desires and destiny.
Ayn Rand once said "A rational man is guided by his thinking – by a process of Reason – not by his feelings and desires."
Many times we allow our feelings to make decisions that our mind and brain should be making. The reconnection is the ability to reconnect with the mind and deciphering your desires of what you want and where you want to go, it's about your choices.
Roy Disney once said "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." That's where the reconnection begins. Understanding your values.
Aristotle writes in ten books, Nicomachean Ethics in which he expounds on a set of values. They are listed as follows:
Book 1 - The study of Good
Book 2 - Moral Virtue
Book 3 - Courage and Temperance
Book 4 - Other Virtures
Book 5 - Justice
Book 6 - Intellectual Virtue
Book 7 - Evil and Pleasure
Books 8 & 9 - Friendship (this is one of the largest areas. One might consider the reason it is so large is that Friendships are very influential in our lives)
Book 10 - Pleasure and Politics.
I am not going to write about each book, however I will be writing about the books that really have emphasis on reconnection, empowering, affirming and loving you.
This blog is for those that are interested in learning about themselves and contributing in a mutually favorable manner. I am learning from others as it is my intention that you gain insight from me as well.
~Steena
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