Reconnecting with others

"Keep things informal. Talking is the natural way to do business. Writing is great for keeping records and putting down details, but talk generates ideas. Great things come from out luncheon meetings which consist of a sandwich, a cup of soup, and a good idea or two. No martinis."— T. Boone Pickens

Have you ever had a boss that you felt you were just speaking two different languages?  You could not see eye to eye?  That was me these past two years in my job.  I would say blue he would say black, I would say high he would say he wanted low.  We were totally disconnected.

Verbal communication has become a lost art so to speak.  Two weeks ago I finally had enough and at our bi-weekly meeting I said "I learn kinesthetically, hands on".  If you want me to learn how you think give me examples.  Don't email me, talk to me.   Verbal communication has been lost in so many industries because of the email society.  It's easier to send an email than get up from your desk and communicate with someone or even pick up the phone.

What is forgotten is that with personal face to face communication the non-verbal communication exists.  Whether you realized it or not we learn from non-verbal communication as well.  Humans communicate non-verbally in three distinct forms.  One is the nonverbal communication of attitudes and emotions of the immediate social situation, secondly the nonverbal communication as a support and complement of verbal communication and lastly the nonverbal communication as a replacement for language. (Non-verbal communication in human social interaction. Non-verbal communication. Argyle, Michael Hinde, R. A., (1972). Non-verbal communication,. Oxford, England: Cambridge U. Press, xiii, 443 pp.)

The nonverbal I am speaking about is the second one the nonverbal communicaiton as a support and complement of verbal communication.  While conversing with my boss he would tell me "Wait I'm processing what you are saying"  then he would explain how he processes things.  Watching him think, act, and process are valuable to me because in the end when I make decisions that affect my department that might require my bosses backing he will understand why I did what I did, but also I learned when he wants information and when he doesn't.   We reconnected because I spoke up.  Instead of remaining miserable in my situation I finally realized I needed to speak.  Why was I so afraid to talk to him?  We all get that way once in awhile.  Complacency sets in and we become robotic like, but for me robotic is not what I like nor who I am.  I am a visionary person.  I like movement, change, implmenting different things for people.

You believe that what you have to say is not worthwhile or let's face it in this economy talking to your boss honestly might find yourself in the unemployment line.  That won't happen.  Everyone needs to be reminded that first and foremost we are human and long before pen and paper even people communicated verbally and non-verbally.  

The key to reconnecting with others is communication.  Approaching the person in a nonthreatening manner, letting them know you believe there is a disconnect and state the reasons, then talk and watch them.  Provide them examples of how to communicate with you and you will be amazed the dialogue that occurs.