These past few months have been one of the biggest rollercoaster rides I've been on in a very long time. From moving homes again, being diagnosed with breast cancer, possible career changes, an 8 year old daughter that has started her life cycle of change (aka menstral cycle), an ex-husband diagnosed with lymphoma, and financial distress. All these things just happened. Like I woke up one day and POW! Life!!!! hit and it hit hard.
When life hits me I know I look at it as growth and new opportunities to expand my knowledge and add another facet to my wonderful life. I will say that all has turned out very well and I am cancer free. I went through a slight depression and all the grieving that goes along with cancer but not as extensive as it could have been. I think what amazes me the most is others reactions when I would go to the doctors ALONE. Even the doctors, asking me is there someone here with you. No, I am a strong person and I didn't want to bring anyone with me. Not that I didn't have anyone that would go with me, because I have great friends, but I didn't see the need for them to be there.
My desire for support comes in celebration. Celebrating LIFE! is what I like not the sympathy and the trauma that you endure while going through this event. I am different in that and my friends respect my decision. I was the support for my kids as well. I wanted them to know mommy wasn't well but I also didn't want to stress them out because I saw that they were a little distressed about mommy. They both stated I do not like to see mommy sick. This opened up great conversations about being human and mortality.
The kids see their dad and how he is with his illness and it is completely opposite of me. Most people had no idea I was sick or had breast cancer. I was vivacious and as positive as I could be because I WANTED to be not because I was putting on aires. I am now at the point where I can work out again and I am feeling stronger and healthier everyday.
I have goals in my life, and right now one goal is by December 15, 2012 I want to be able to do 3 sets of 10 pull ups. I have never been able to pull myself up even as a kid being a chunky kid and now that is a goal for me. I go to the gym everyday with my kids setting an example of health and exercise. The other goal is to really decide what I want in a career. I have so many dreams and desires, but what truly makes me happy? That is something I am pondering and seeking and writing about.
The answer is coming a long very well actually will probably have an answer very soon and then I can put that goal to bed. The final goal I have is financial freedom. I am slowly starting to pay off old debt the last bit of it and starting to save. My goal is to have $5,000 in a savings liquid cash at my disposal any time by the end of the year. I have retirement that I do not touch, I do not have credit cards anymore if I can't pay cash I don't need it.
I had a savings then I got divorced and ended up using it for all things related to divorce and moving. I love my life very much and to be honest wouldn't trade it for anything. All my experiences and friends, old and new, that enhance who I am that is great. All the wonderful conversations that I've had this past year and all the new exciting philosophical individuals that I have met is amazing. I have expanded my horizon and continue to meet new people.
If you are not experiencing LIFE!?., the way you would like, you can change it. Do something out of your box. I was talking to someone about don't put me in a box and I said really I am not in a box, I have maybe one side to it but other than my box is open and I love it as it allows for free flowing thoughts and ideas.
What about you, where are you in your Life? Are you happy in your box? Do you have a box?
Whatever your answers as long as they are reflected in your moral code and value, that is where you can begin if you are wanting to change.
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